Vanessa Almirante
ESL 100
October 14, 2023
Saudade
Everyday when I wake up, I need a couple of seconds to understand that I’m not in Brazil anymore. It has been two months since I came to Chicago, but a strange and persistent feeling of loss is always stuck at the very bottom of my head. Most of this sentiment is due to the lack of some expected aspects as my family, friends and weather, but I also struggle with a cultural shock due to the food, clothes, language, people and behavior... I miss my identity that is contained in those little characteristics even though I’m having such a good experience being abroad.
Brazilian and American culture are part of the occidental culture, and for this reason they share a lot of similarities. I can therefore say that I fit in almost all the time, except, of course, when I realize that the people around me are thinking in English or when I see too many people with a gringo face. It also happens when I try to make friends but people act cold and unapproachable or even when it’s 12 PM and I’m not almoçando a typical Brazilian dish (beans, rice, farofa and a protein) with my sister. These are details which I miss the most because it is what makes me remember that, despite all the good things, I don’t belong to this country.
However, I noticed that Chicago is a city full of people like me - foreigners. Because of this aspect, I started to feel more comfortable and welcomed by those people. Being in a cosmopolitan city gives me the opportunity to know different cultures, which is one of my goals in life, and, in some ways, be more connected to the world. It could be in Chinatown, Navy Pier, Millenium Park or the infinity restaurants from all around the world. All these places made me feel this way. In the United States, I also have a sense of complete freedom to be whoever I want to, so in moments when I am actually fitting in, I do enjoy Chicago and the whole experience.
As the Brazilian song Mistério do Planeta by Novos Baianos says: “[…] e pela lei natural dos encontros, eu deixo e recebo um tanto” – “and by the natural rule of encounters, I leave and I receive a little” – I believe that I’m losing Brazilian aspects, but also gaining and learning about cultures, histories and backgrounds. This amazing exchange experience, has above all, made me think of my own culture and all the aspects that make it unique. Since I arrived on July 6, I’m learning to live with this strange feeling: saudade, an unique and untranslatable word to the Portuguese language that means a deep feeling of missing something, nostalgia.
Once, Kennedy called the US, “a nation of immigrants.” In my opinion, it relates not only to previous generations of American people, but also to us- immigrants who left everything in their motherlands in order to become people that combine two identities in one body. When I read that you feel you are loosing some Brazilian aspects in your life, it remined me of the same problem I have. Sometimes I can notice my Russian language skill is decreasing too, and it is hard to explain and deliver my thoughts to my family without using English words.
ReplyDeleteThe United States is indeed a diverse country of immigrant. Here, people from many different countries, so that we do not appear to be unique. This is where I feel comfortable, too.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way as your thoughts because the United States is a country of immigrants. Here, you can see a lot of different people, races and see more cultures.
ReplyDeleteThe United States has many people from all over the world, including us. I also feel a bit magical about two different cultures mixing together.
ReplyDeleteHi, Vanessa. When I came to the United States, I missed my family. Although the background is different I grew, I has tried to learn new culture. Now, I feel comfortable than when I came. Additionally, the United State is a inclusive country, you will like it in future.
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