Two Lives

Qiaohuan Ruan  

ESL 100 

October 15, 2023    

A new place has a new life. When people arrive in an unfamiliar country, they may be puzzled and afraid and it can be a huge challenge for them. People need to adapt to the new customs, cultures, and lifestyle. People might confuse who they are sometimes. When I came to Chicago, it was difficult for me to fit in this new place. Some of the culture or customs were weird for me and felt very crazy. The U.S culture is more individualistic, but Chinese culture is more communal. In China, kids are taught to follow communism. Those two different cultures made me confused when I came to the United States. 

          When I was a child in Guangdong, China, my parents, or seniors always taught me that I must always be an obedient person in the family because parents love their chirldren deeply. People should be the person what their parents want you to be. They should engage in the job what your parents want you to do. At that time, I thought they were right, and I had to follow them. Therefore, I was always followed my parents, and I never even knew what my own thoughts were. Afterwards, when I came to the United States, my friend told me that I should have my own ideas. She said this is the United States and everyone believes in freedom and is an equal individual. She said that there is equality. I grew up in a place where kids are always requested to be abidance in the family, but after my friend told me that I felt very weird.  Despite that was crazy for me, I tried to think about how to adapt in the new country and be closer to my friends. Because I had lived in Guangdong, China for many years, I felt difficulty changing the opinion which was deep-rooted in my heart. At last, I found the opinion in the United State fit me better and I changed my perspective to be myself. 

Since coming to the United States, I have also gained new ideas about paying more attention to my own personality development and respecting other people’s personality development and their opinions. Because people are equal and individual in this country, that means I need to recognize if someone tries to force people to follow them. When I decided to pick a major in childhood education, my mother really wanted to and tried her best to change my decision to learn accounting because she thought an accountant can earn a lot of money and never lose their job. However, I strongly rejected her suggestion because I wanted to follow my will to engage in the job I want. If I lived in China and I never came to the United States, I have no doubt to I would need to accept the suggestion from my mother. Additionally, this is a country where people are respected and encouraged for their personality development. I like this culture here, so I always tell my two sons that they do not need to follow anyone, only be themselves. If I stay living in China, I think I would like my parents to pick the after school classes depend on my hobbies for my sons. Now, I would allow my sons to choose the after school classes what they like. I also allow them to express their opinions and ideas in our family. 

 If people move to a new place is an opportunity to change their perspective and life, I had changed some opinions after I moved to the United States. Since I moved here, I really feel equality and freedom. I do not need to follow others to do somethings that I do not like. Additionlly, I learned to respect other people’s personality development and their opinions. I hope everyone can integrate increasingly into this new country with their efforts.