Hope in Shackles

 Xiaomin Mei 

ESL 100 

November 5, 2023 

Hope in Shackles 

In the middle and late last century, the level of the economy in my hometown, Taishan, was low, and many people wanted to escape a life of poverty. There was a legend full of mystery about the United States that brought hope to them. They heard that the United States was the land full of gold, so some of the people had the same view of immigrating there to live better. At that time, marriage immigration brought an opportunity to people who wanted to look for hope, so many people in my hometown got married in order to immigrate to the United States to improve their life. My great-grandfather also had that view, so he looked for unmarried men who prepared to immigrate or had the U.S. citizenship by marriage brokers. Then, he introduced a Chinese American to my great aunt. He said to my great aunt, “marry that man for your own future.”, so my great aunt married him quickly, although she was not familiar with him and did not love him. After she immigrated to the U.S., my great-grandfather began to regret his decision. Many shackles were put on my great aunt, and her immigration has influenced on several generations of her family in China. 

The light in my great grandfather’s imagination did not shine in my great aunt’s life in the United States, and she lived in dark, in fact. Maybe she wanted to reduce my great grandfather’s concern for her, and maybe she insisted on looking for light in the dark. Every step of her life in United States was difficult because of her desires. The family conflicts and supporting her family in China brought her the mental pain and exhaustion, yet she still believed that the painful life was temporary. She thought firmly that everything would become better. For example, in her family in the United States, she often received abuse from her bad-tempered husband. Her husband’s abuse made her anxious and depressed. Nevertheless, she took care of him and his parents more carefully, and she thought that her husband would stop abusing her because of her dedication. In the meantime, she had two jobs since she wanted to send money to her family in China.  She always wanted my great grandfather to believe she had a better life in the United States. She never rested for a moment. Apart from being tied up by two families, she also faced the difficulty of fitting into the society. She did not have friends for a long time because of language problems. In addition, she sometimes was discriminated against because of her race and culture. However, she believed that she would fit into this society eventually. As a result, she learned American culture in her little free time. In the end, the time proved that she still did not get rid of the shackles from her two families and society in the United States because she had been busy in her whole life for caring these two families and fitting into the society. However, she could not get the good results she wanted.  

The hope my great aunt brought was like a shaft of dawn that came into my family, but the dark corner still existed. After my great aunt immigrated to Chicago, she brought two opposite effects to my family. A few years after my great aunt immigrated to Chicago, my family became better because of her efforts. She sent 500 dollars to my family every month, and this was a huge amount for every member who only earned almost 50 Yuan every month in the 1980s and 1990s. As a result, they had extra money except for what they spent on eating and drinking. After the extra money had been accumulated, my grandfather used it to start his small business. Although the family environment was better, my great-grandfather’s life was still dark. The pain of longing troubled him for the rest of his life. Since the long distance between China and the United States and inconvenient communication, he never saw my great aunt again after she immigrated to the U.S., and they communicated only by writing letters every month. “Dad, if I have chance, I must go back to China to chat with you more.” This sentence appeared on every letter she wrote. Words full of love and longing in his daughter’s letters often became blurry because of his tears. Even though he was dying, he wanted to see his favorite child, but she was far from way. When he held a party to congratulate her on preparing to have a better life, did he ever think that he would never see his daughter again? Eventually, the light full of hope still could not shine for the rest of his life. 

My parents and I have a new understanding about marriage immigration. After my great aunt’s son told my parents and me about the experience of my great aunt, we were inspired by this. My parents’ views about marriage immigration have changed. They have understood the bad impact that marriage immigration brought, so they no longer think it can bring hope. Before they knew about my great aunt’s experience, they thought that it was a good idea for people to plan marriages that could help their children immigrate. Now, they have realized that this kind of plan ties up their children’s freedom in the name of love. I am lucky they have realized this. In addition, my understanding of marriage has changed. I have realized that marriage cannot begin quickly because of the benefits. It is more to follow my heart and clearly understand the character of the man before I get married. The place where he lives should also be considered. Finally, women should not lose themselves in marriages. 

Marriage immigration brought a tragic life to my great aunt, and it brought benefits and pain of longing to my family. These events have made my parents and me reflect on marriage immigration and marriage. After my great aunt immigrated to the United States, her life was tied by shackles. These shackles are her two families, the society of the United States, and the long distance between China and the United States. She had tried to get rid of some of these shackles, but she had used the wrong methods. She was tied tightly by them finally. Since she immigrated to the United States, she had devoted herself to two families, but she had forgotten to take care of herself. At last, she lost herself in the painful life. If time can turn back, I think the wish of my great aunt would be to escape her failed marriage, have a happy life with her family in China, and just be herself.